It's exhausting and not worth it. And it's disobedience. Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Luke 12:25 says, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" So instead of worrying about tomorrow, I need to focus on what I can do TODAY for Christ.
One of my favourite passages of Scripture has become Philippians 1:18-24. Paul wrote this book from prison, and he is likely awaiting execution. In this section of his letter, Paul talks about his feelings about death.
"Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and God's provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body."
I love this picture of Paul torn between life and death. He knows that when he dies, he will be with Jesus, which will be more amazing than anything here on earth. At the same time, he wants to continue his earthly ministry and help people come to know Jesus here. I know that to live is Christ and to die is gain. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will be with Jesus when I die, and I am looking forward to that. At the same time, there is a lot here that I don't want to miss out on. I want to see my boys grow up. I want to grow old with my husband. I want to be a grandmother one day. I want to teach my students about Jesus.
There are no guarantees in this life, and none of us know how much time we have. So I will put my trust in Jesus, and live for Him today. My prayer is that each day I can do something for God's kingdom and bring glory to Him in the life I live.
A song that has taken on new meaning for me is "Live Like That" by Sidewalk Prophets. Here are the lyrics:
Sometimes I think
What will people say of me
When I'm only just a memory
When I'm home where my soul belongs?
Was I love when no one else would show up?
Was I Jesus to the least of those?
Was my worship more than just a song?
I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do points to You
If love is who I am
Then this is where I'll stand
Recklessly abandoned, never holding back
I want to live like that
Am I proof that You are who You say You are
That grace can really change a heart?
Do I live like Your love is true?
People pass, and even if they don't know my name
Is there evidence that I am changed?
When they see me, do they see You?
This is my challenge to myself. Am I living in a way that God will say, "Well done," when I get to heaven? Absolutely, to die is gain, but while I'm here, am I living for Christ? I know I fall short in many ways and I have lots to learn, but I want to be continually seeking Jesus and living out His ministry while I'm here.
Check out the song here: Sidewalk Prophets - Live Like That
