Purpose

This blog is mainly my devotional thoughts and musings about life, parenthood, marriage. I want to leave this as a legacy to my children so they know what their mother believed and thought. My life purpose is to know and love God and to serve Him whole-heartedly. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5, 6

Saturday 22 December 2007

Grandparents

What a blessing for our boys to have wonderful grandparents (on both sides of the family!). Last night, Ian's parents came over for supper, and lavished attention on Adam and Noah. Adam loved wrestling with Grandpa and listening to stories with Grandma. Noah loves to snuggle with them! Tomorrow, we'll leave for Kelowna to see my mom and John, and I know the boys will get lots of attention there, too.

Tuesday 13 November 2007

Crazy Hat Day!

On Thursday it was crazy hat day at AWANA, so here's what I came up with in my infinite creativity! We took Adam's pirate hat and pinned stars to it! I drew the stars, he coloured them, and I cut them out. He was quite proud of his hat, and he wanted to wear it for days afterwards! Noah seems to like it too!

Tuesday 6 November 2007

To My Dad

It has been ten years today that my dad passed away from colon cancer. His passing has gotten easier as the years have gone by, but this year seems particularly difficult. Ten years seems like such a long time to be without him, but it has gone so quickly. It feels like he was here only yesterday.

I was blessed to have two wonderful parents who loved each other and my sister and me, and who spent lots of time with us growing up. My dad was always involved in our sports activities and our school work. He encouraged us to always try our best, be honest, be on time as a courtesy to others, and to honour our commitments.

My favourite memory of my dad is just a few weeks before he died. He was in bed (it was afternoon, but he was very tired), and I was lying with my head on his chest. I was apologizing to him for not being the best daughter. I had been a pretty obnoxious teenager and felt I needed to say sorry for that! He told me to stop apologizing, and he said, "You'll never know how special you are." To me, that is such an amazing picture of a parent's love. I am so grateful for the 23 years I had with him, though it was much too short.

I love you, Daddy. I am so glad that I'll see you again in Heaven!

Thursday 11 October 2007

East to West

Okay, this is my new favourite song!

East to West - Casting Crowns

Here I am Lord and I'm drowning
In your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight

I know You've cast my sins as far
As the East is from the West
And I stand before You now as
As though I've never sinned but today
I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way

Jesus can You show me
Just how far the East is from the West
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
Cause You know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day the war begins
Endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again
Your truth Is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way

Jesus can You show me
Just how far the East is from the West
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
Cause you know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

I know You've washed me white
Turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel
But by the truth Your Word reveals
I'm not holding on to you
But You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far
The East is from the West
I don't have to see the man I've been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
(The arms of your mercy I find rest)
Cause You know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other (x2)

(Just how far, the East is from the West) (x3)

From one scarred hand to the other

On Cancer...

It's almost 2:30 in the morning, and I can't sleep. I think it's because I had three big diet cokes with supper and now the caffeine is keeping me buzzed. I'm so tired I can't even think straight!

I've been reading on my other blog about how people have been affected by cancer. It is so horrible. October is breast cancer awareness month, so I've gone pink on my main blog. I shared my story about my dad (you can read it on the link above) and invited people to share their own stories. One lady wrote that she is currently fighting the same cancer my dad had, and has been for three years. It looks like she is a believer from her blog profile. She has children and a husband. She says her prognosis isn't good.

What a horrible disease. It seems so random. How can one person get it and another not? Why does one person survive and another doesn't? The hopelessness of it can seem overwhelming.

Fortunately, there is a God who surpasses all hopelessness and randomness. He is in control and He has a plan. I am thankful that the above woman knows the Lord. Her life won't end when (if) she loses the fight with cancer. I am thankful that my dad came to know the Lord on the day he died so I know that I will see him again. (I'll share that story soon!)

Friday 5 October 2007

Getting Out of the Food Pit!

Okay, it's been awhile since I posted here, so I'd better get something down! Actually, my devotional/prayer life has been going amazingly well. I made a commitment to get up early (VERY difficult for me!) so I can spend some time in prayer before the boys get up. I can't believe what a difference it makes to just commit the day to the Lord and give thanks for His care before I start the day. What a great God we serve!

I've been reading the Beth Moore book "Get Out of that Pit!" It's amazing! I have several pits that I've allowed myself to fall into (and some I've even climbed into on my own). One of them is the pit of overeating. I use food as entertainment, comfort, all sorts of things. Eating, of course, isn't sinful, but I had allowed food to become too much of an influence in my life. Besides being overweight, another consequence is that I think about food constantly - what am I going to eat next? when can I eat that yummy snack? what should I eat while I watch TV? It was all-consuming. I have tried every diet there is. Nothing works.

Beth has shown me that God is the only One who can get me out of the pit. And amazingly enough, He is pulling me out! I actually don't think about food all the time anymore. I don't feel like eating when I'm not hungry anymore (a miracle!). Beth uses the image of holding onto God's leg while He steps out of the pit. That's what I'm doing - I'm holding on for dear life! And He's climbing out with me!

This seems like a small thing, but it was all-consuming in my life. Food was taking God's place in my heart and mind, and now God is taking back His rightful place. I feel a lot freer now. It is amazing - and I can't wait to see how He pulls me out of the other pits I'm in!

Friday 14 September 2007

Adam's First Day in AWANA

Last night, Adam had his first AWANA meeting. He is in Cubbies! I have to admit that it was very difficult to leave him at the church by himself. I know he wasn't by himself, but this was the first time I had left him for an organized activity and I wasn't in the building! I can't believe he's three! I feel like I just gave birth to him, and he's already in a school-like group!

He was a bit nervous on the way to the church because I had told him that I would leave him and come pick him up afterwards. But once we got there, he saw the other kids and the books, and he couldn't have cared less if I was there or not! (sniff!) I suppose that's a good thing! I had warned him on the way there that he needed to listen to his teacher and not talk all the time (which he has a habit of doing!).

So I went to pick him up afterward, and he had a fantastic time! His teacher said he was quiet (miracle!) but it was probably because there were some loud, energetic girls in the group! On the way home, I asked him what he had done there. He said they sang songs, played games, learned stories. He said that God loves him (yay!). He made a picture with a big "A" in pipe cleaners to spell Adam, and it said "Jesus loves Adam". We hung it on his wall in his bedroom when we got home. Before bed, we went over his memory verse for next week: "God created the heavens and the earth" Genesis 1:1. I can't believe he's already memorizing Scripture. What a great program! He almost knows it already - with some prompting.

I am so glad that he had fun. He can't wait to get his Cubbies vest after two more nights (they have to go three times before they get their vests). He was looking through his Cubbies book all day today! He is so excited! I am so thankful that Adam has the opportunity to learn about God in this way. What a blessing!

Tuesday 11 September 2007

How Deep the Father's Love For Us

Time for another song! This is one of my favourites.

How Deep the Father's Love For Us

On Being Wise

I've been reading Proverbs 14 - 15, and there are so many things that a wise person does! Here's a list:

A wise/prudent man:
  • fears the Lord
  • finds knowledge
  • gives thought to his ways
  • is upright
  • will flourish
  • is rewarded for his ways
  • gives thought to his steps
  • fears the Lord and shuns evil
  • is crowned with knowledge
  • is kind to the needy
  • plans what is good and finds love and faithfulness
  • has a secure fortress that will be a refuge for his children
  • is discerning
  • heeds correction
  • spreads knowledge
  • pursues righteousness
  • brings joy to his father
  • keeps a straight course
  • has pure thoughts that are pleasing to God
  • weighs his answers
I pray that my boys will be wise and seek the Lord.

Monday 10 September 2007

On Spiritual Warfare

I'm feeling led to share about the topic of spiritual warfare. This is a controversial subject, even in Christian circles, but my experiences tell me that it is real, nonetheless. Since this blog is primarily to document my faith journey for my family, I think it is important to share this because it is a big part of my life.

I discovered early on in my Christian walk that one of my spiritual gifts is discernment of spirits. Particularly, I am able to sense and sometimes see when there are evil spirits (demons) present. This sounds unreal, but I have had many encounters, so it's pretty real to me.

When I was in junior high, I was particularly obsessed with the occult and the supernatural. I wasn't a Christian at this point, which made my obsession very dangerous. I participated in seances and used a ouija board. I watched horror movies and read horror novels. I basically filled my mind with garbage. I was terrified of the evil around me, but I was so drawn to it that I had to keep going. During one seance, my friends and I were in a basement laundry room, and a batch of hangers went flying from one end of their rod to the other. That scared us pretty badly!

When I was in high school, I became a Christian. Shortly thereafter, I awoke one night to find something on top of me. I was suffocating and there was a face right in front of mine. I prayed and prayed until this thing finally left. Then I prayed for God to bind all the evil spirits that I had unwittingly unleashed when I was doing all these satanic thing. He did.

Since then, I have been able to sense when something evil is around. If there is strong demonic activity, I can sometimes see them.

So why would I share this with my boys? I want them to understand that Satan is real. His demons are real. They are in a war with God over our souls. Although I am saved, Satan still wants to prevent me from living a victorious life in Christ and from seeing other people come to the Lord. But this is not something that should scare us, only make us aware. Victory is ours through Jesus Christ. When I see or sense demons, I am able to pray and ask God to remove them. And He does.

I pray every night for the spiritual safety of my children. Adam is now saved and sanctified and protected by the Holy Spirit himself. Noah is sanctified through my faith and Ian's faith. But Satan still wants to defeat them. It seems like a strange thing to be thankful for, but I am thankful for my gift because I know when I need to pray against Satan.

The other night, Ian was out of town, and as I walked past the bottom of the stairs, I had a strange chill. I looked up and I knew something was at the top of the stairs looking at me. I spent a long time in prayer and it left. I know Satan preys upon us when we are most vulnerable, and I am usually more fearful when Ian is out of town. That night, I slept like a log! It was so peaceful in our house!

Anyway, that's what's been on my heart to share. Our God is all-powerful. Nothing can stand against Him. And He's quick to rush in to save us when we need Him. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." Ephesians 6:12 - 13

Sunday 9 September 2007

Evening Sky

Look what God did!


Friday 7 September 2007

On the Word of God

One of the chapters I read today for my devotional reading was 1 Corinthians 14, where Paul talks about the gifts of prophecy and tongues. I was thinking that I wouldn't be writing anything in my blog about this, but it brought to mind something that happened to me when I was teaching in a Christian school.

There was a student there who started telling other students that there were only about five people in the whole school who were really saved, and that the teachers weren't really Christians because we didn't speak in tongues. He was of the belief that if you were truly saved, then the Holy Spirit would cause you to speak in tongues, as happened to the early church in Acts. I had several distressed students come to me in tears because they were afraid they weren't saved and were going to hell.

I directed them to this particular chapter. While I have never spoken in tongues, I think it would be amazing to converse with God in a language that I had never heard before - that would be a fantastic jolt to my faith! But I know that even if I don't speak in tongues, I have still accepted Jesus as my Saviour and received the Holy Spirit and I am saved. Paul actually says that the gift of prophecy is better than the gift of tongues (v. 5) because it edifies other believers, but speaking in tongues only builds up the speaker (unless he interprets).

Verse 5 says, "I would like every one of you to speak in tongues, but I would rather have you prophesy." This would imply that not everyone who believes will speak in tongues, and that's okay. Paul goes on to say in verse 19, "But in the church I would rather speak five intelligible words to instruct than ten thousand words in a tongue."

It's funny how God brings about learning - my reading today also consisted of several chapters of Proverbs, which spoke about wisdom and knowledge keeping us from sin. "Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost you all you have, get understanding." (Proverbs 4:7) I also read an online devotional today called "Dying for Lack of Knowledge" about how we can't take God's word lightly. It is important to know and understand His word.

If I didn't have the Scriptures to show the students who were told they weren't saved because they didn't speak in tongues, how credible would I have been disputing the other student's claim?

I have been slacking off on reading my Bible for quite awhile, but I think God is trying to show me that I need to keep reading. I've read the Bible through several times, and I was getting complacent, thinking that I had read it all, so what else could I possibly learn? (Silly me!) God will continually show me more and more. That's the beauty of His word. We can never know all of it - He will always show us something new and relevant if we take the time to just dig in!

Tuesday 4 September 2007

On Psalm 147 - How Great is Our God

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (v. 3).

What else needs to be said?

"He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name" (v. 4).

How amazing is that? There are how many trillions upon trillions of stars, and God knows exactly how many there are and He has a name for each one. WOW! And how much more does He know and care about me, His child?

The Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love." (v. 11)

To think that in some way, I can bring delight to this God who named the stars just by putting my hope in Him!

Sunday 19 August 2007

Adam Asked Jesus Into His Heart!

Praise the Lord! Adam asked Jesus to come and live in his heart this morning at church! We were listening to the message (I didn't think Adam was listening), but Pastor Shane said something about Adam (of the bible) and my Adam said, "No, I'm three!" (Lately he tells everyone that he's three years old!). So I explained to him that Pastor Shane was talking about a different Adam - the one in the Bible.

Then Adam listened some more, and Shane mentioned God. Adam said, "Where's God?"

I said, "Where is He?" (because Adam knows the answer).

Adam said, "He's everywhere." Then he said, "Jesus is everywhere too."

I said, "That's right. And He can live in your heart too if you want Him to. Do you want to ask Him to live in your heart?"

Adam said yes, and I told him that we would ask after Pastor Shane finished speaking.

So after the service, I asked Adam if he still wanted to ask Jesus to live in his heart, and he did, so I told him he had to pray and ask Jesus himself. So he did! He was so excited, he told Daddy right away. Then Shelley K. came to talk to him after church, and he told her too!

I know he's young and he doesn't understand all the implications and sin and his need for a savior. But he does know that Jesus is in his heart, and for a three-year-old, I think that's pretty good. I just pray now that God will grow the seed that's been planted and produce tons of fruit for His Kingdom in Adam. I pray that God will make Himself more and more real to Adam and increase Adam's understanding of Him.

I pray the same thing for Noah, of course. When he's a bit older, I just pray that he will ready to ask Jesus into his heart too. My greatest desire as a parent is to see my children in Heaven with me one day. I'm so happy that Adam is on the right track so far.

By the way, he behaved so well at church today that he got a slurpee on the way home! He was fantastic today! Praise the Lord!

Saturday 18 August 2007

"Mercy in the Wilderness"

I've obviously been listening to a lot of music lately. I do that when I'm struggling! Steve Camp wrote a song called "Mercy in the Wilderness". I always loved it for the melody, but every time I listen to it, the words hit home more and more.

Every day that I walk with You
You break me down and You make me new.
Though my faith is tried, this I know is true:
There is mercy in the wilderness.

Through the valley deep and the mountain high
You have been my strength and Your Word my guide
I have known Your grace through the tears I've cried
There is mercy in the wilderness.

In the barren place where the harsh winds blow
Oh my flesh cries out, "Lord refresh my soul!"

Oh the Lord is kind and the Lord is good
He is faithful to His children
Through the fire and flood He has with me stood
He gives mercy in the wilderness.

Oh the chastening of the Father's hand
Yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness
Though our hope is born in sorrow there'll be joy at last
There is mercy in the wilderness.

So I thank You, Lord, for my every trial
The Father's love confirms me as His child

Wow! It is easy to get down and depressed when things are tough, but then we wouldn't learn what God wants us to learn. It is through these times that He can groom us to bear the most fruit. Granted, my tough times aren't that bad! I mean, just being tired and having a rough day with the kids hardly qualifies for hardship when you look at what many people in the world are going through! But it was a tough time for me. I guess it was the feelings of hopelessness, uselessness and emptiness that were getting to me. But I know that I have hope, purpose and fulfillment in Christ. Satan really wants to get me down and put me into a pit (I've been reading Beth Moore!). But I know the truth, and the truth will set me free!

I was looking at Steve Camp's blog (yes, he has one too!), and he says this about the song:

"The Lord uses times of deep sorrow and trial to make us, yes, make us run to Him and Him alone. There is mercy in the wilderness; and the wilderness is the merciful thing. God uses those wasteland experiences to conform us to Himself. "All things work together for good to those that love God and are called according to His purpose" not because at the end of the day everything is nice and neatly problem free. NO! But because "we are predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son!" (Romans 8:28-29)

We are servants with scars.

Though all may forsake you there is One who will never leave nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5); who will love you to the uttermost (John 13:1); who will stick closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24); who knows every one of our needs (Matthew 6:25-34); and will be attentive to the prayers of His children (1 John 5:14-15). If you ask Him for bread He surely will not give you a stone (Matthew 7:7-11).

He will lead you to the rock that is higher than you. Like David the Lord will raise you high above the tempest - to the rock that is higher than your storm; higher than your loneliness. Praise be to God David found a place of sanctuary and shelter in God Himself and you may as well if you place your faith and trust in Christ alone!"

I know this is a long post, but it's such an important lesson. Life is hard. The enemy is a roaming lion seeking to devour us (1 Peter 5:8). God will allow us to go through these times so He can teach us what we need to learn to grow closer to Him and more fruitful in our walk with Him. And there is MERCY in that WILDERNESS. He will be there through it all with us, upholding us with His love.

What a wonderful God we serve!

Wednesday 15 August 2007

Music Speaks

I'm finding myself listening to lots of Christian music lately and really thinking about the words.

Shelley had a link today to a great song (Word of God Speak).

Here are a few more:

I Can Only Imagine


How Great is Our God

The Potter's Hand

These songs speak so beautifully of God's love and plan for us.

Sunday 12 August 2007

I Could Sing of Your Love Forever - Martin Smith


Over the mountains and the sea
Your river runs with love for me
And I will open up my heart
And let the Spirit set me free.

I'm happy to be in the truth
And I will daily lift my hands
For I will always sing of
When Your love came down.

I could sing of Your love forever.
I could sing of Your love forever.
I could sing of Your love forever.
I could sing of Your love forever.

Oh I feel like dancing
It's foolishness I know
But when the world has seen the light
They will dance with joy
Like we're dancing now.

I absolutely love this song. I was playing it on the piano today, and I couldn't get it out of my head. I started singing it with Noah, and tears came to my eyes as I worshiped God. It's amazing how music can unleash something in us. I can always feel the Spirit moving in me when I sing a worship song to the Lord from my heart.

Saturday 11 August 2007

Joyful Children


The boys were in swimming lessons for the past two weeks. They had so much fun! Look at those smiles!

This was Adam's first time in lessons by himself, and he was pretty nervous at first. The first lesson, he cried the whole time and refused to go in the pool! Eventually, he relaxed and enjoyed himself. He likes splashing and jumping into the pool (though the teacher did not always share his enthusiasm for splashing!).

This was also Noah's first time in lessons. Ian and I took turns going with him in the pool. It is so much fun to take him in. He's fearless! He went down the slide with me with no problem! He loved jumping to me into the pool, and had no problem with having his head dunked underwater (although he needs to close his mouth when we do that!).

They both had tons of fun. It is so nice to see them smiling and laughing and having fun. God must see us that way when we are joyful. If I delight in my kids' happiness this much, then how much more must God delight in us when we are full of joy and exuberance for Him? I'm so glad I have a loving Father God who has given me these great kids and who loves me as His own child.

Being a parent has helped me understand God's love so much more (though I am still far from understanding completely - and will be until I get to Heaven!). I love my kids so much, and if God loves me even more than I love them, then it's a pretty big love!

Friday 10 August 2007

The Thrill of God - Continued

"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him." Isaiah 30:18

Okay, so this Thrill of God thing is so not what I expected! I haven't actually been thrilled yet, but God is bringing me to a lot of realizations that I have been avoiding or ignoring!

I am completely at the end of myself. And while it's not fun, I am surprisingly thankful and relieved. I have been living so long on my own strength that it is a complete relief to have to just rest in God and rely on Him. And stupid me, that's what I was supposed to be doing all along! I am really so thankful that God has forced me to just give over control to Him. I don't have the strength to do anymore by myself. It is amazingly freeing to live like this. And the more I rely on God, the more I'm seeing Him in everything!

And believe it or not, Adam has actually been more obedient lately. Coincidence? Probably not. I'm still waiting for my "God Thrill", but I know it's coming, and what I've been experiencing is so valuable already, so I can wait.

Thank you Shelley for this challenge!

Tuesday 7 August 2007

Flowers at my Door

Look what was on my doorstep this morning! What a great surprise. I really needed this after the weekend I had! Thank you so much to whoever left this for me (I think I know who...). You made me smile!

I appreciate Shelley's comment from my Thrill of God entry:

Oh how I feel your pain - we have great expectation and then the enemy who prowls around looking for someone to devour TRIES to discourage us!! I learnt in my post that my Thrill was not the experience but it was God Himself -I am going to pray for you this week that God Himself would just Thrill you - and like I have found it is definitely in the unexpected moments.

I really appreciate that perspective - I was looking for the thrill in some experience or part of my day, but it is God Himself who I should be thrilled with. Thank you for reminding me of that, Shelley! I know God is amazing, and I need to rely on Him.

Sunday 5 August 2007

The Thrill of God

Last night Shelley challenged us to ask God to thrill us. He delights in giving good gifts to His children! So I ran off to pray and asked God to just thrill me.

I was full of anticipation this morning when I woke up and prayed for the day. I again asked God to thrill me today, and to open my eyes so that I would know it when it happened (I have a tendency to miss things as I get busy and focus on other things).

So first off, I weighed myself, and I had gained a pound. Not so thrilling. Okay, so God was going to thrill me another way (although losing five pounds would have been a great thrill!).

Noah cried all morning. He's teething and nothing would comfort him. I gave him Tylenol and sent him to bed for a bit, but he continued to whine. I contemplated just staying home from church since Ian's out of town and it's challenging enough having two kids there by myself, let alone when the baby is teething! But I prayed, and God told me to go. I thought, "Okay, God is going to thrill me at church... the kids will behave, I'll actually get to sing an entire song and maybe hear most of the message." Wrong again. Noah was actually pretty good. Adam, however, behaved terribly. He wouldn't stop talking, he had to go the bathroom three times before the singing was even finished. I had to take him out for "discipline" during the special music. And when we went back in, he still wouldn't stop talking and disobeying me when I asked him to sit on his chair and play quietly. So I ended up leaving church before the message even started so we wouldn't disrupt all the other people around us. Not so thrilling.

On the way home, I thought, "My day is going worse than usual. Why aren't you thrilling me, God?" I started to cry. (I know, poor me!)

The rest of the day didn't go much better. It was a constant battle with Adam to get him to obey me when I asked him to stop hitting his brother, stop banging things on the table during supper, stop yelling at me from his room during quiet time, etc. etc.

I feel so empty right now - physically, emotionally, spiritually. I have nothing left to give my family. I'm not being fed spiritually at church because my kids won't be quiet during the service. At home, my three-year-old is constantly challenging my authority. He blatantly disobeys when I ask him to do something (or to stop doing something). It's especially hard when Ian is away because there's no rest. I'm at the breaking point.

I guess God has brought me here to this point to teach me to lean on Him. Like the song says: "His strength is perfect when our strength is gone." I need God to fill me now. Is this the thrill I asked for? I know God sometimes answers prayer in unexpected ways, but when I asked Him to thrill me, I didn't mean tear me down to nothing in one day! But I guess that's what He needed to do to force me to rely on Him again.

So I'm not feeling thrilled today, but I know that God isn't here for my amusement or to perform for me when I ask Him to. I know He delights in giving good gifts to His children, and I know that He wants me to be ready for it when He gives them. I am thankful that He is bringing me to the place where I will be ready for Him, even though it's difficult. I know one day He will thrill me, and we will both delight in it because of what He's bringing me through today.

Saturday 4 August 2007

Precious Face

How precious is this face? Okay, I'm a little biased... But come on! Look at those blue eyes!
I was trying to take a picture of Noah, and he ran at the camera, so this is what I ended up with. But I actually love this picture! Just wanted to share! (Yes, Mom is bragging.)

On Romans 7 - Being a Slave

"How many times have I fed on ashes instead of feasting on the Word? How many times has my deluded heart misled me?"- Beth Moore

I read this today from Praying God's Word Day by Day, and it really struck a chord with me. Beth Moore then goes on to a prayer based on Romans 7:15 - 21.

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do - this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my ming and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin." (Romans 7:15 - 25)

Wow! I always have to read this passage very slowly. It is so confusing! I guess it comes down to the fact that there is a battle being fought in the heavenly realms, and I have to choose who I will be a slave to - God's law or the law of sin. It is a constant struggle for me. I know what I want to do - to follow God's law and be what He wants me to be. It is so difficult sometimes to do that, though. It is so much easier to just be lazy and not spend time in the Word or in prayer. But then I am being a slave to sin.

Paul sums it up so well: "For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." (v. 15) If Paul struggled with this, what chance do I have?!

Fortunately, Romans 8 goes on: "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." (vv. 1 - 2) Hallelujah! Even though there is a battle waging within me and around me, I am set free from the law of sin. I don't have to be a slave to it and I am not condemned. God has given the Spirit of life to give us victory over sin. I just need to allow Him to work through me and stop being lazy!

Friday 3 August 2007

On Colossians 3 - Work for the Lord

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." (vv. 23 - 24)

How often I forget this. I have to stop seeking the approval of others. God is the One I should be concerned with. I need to ask myself constantly if what I am doing is for His glory.

I've been feeling rather purposeless lately. When I was a teacher, I had a noble calling - to shape the lives and minds of today's children. I could be their role model and impart knowledge on future generations! (Wow, that sounds good!) Every day was different - new challenges, new lessons, new conversations.

Being a stay-at-home mom is much less glamourous. But now that I look at what I just wrote about being a teacher, being a mom is pretty much the same thing. I just don't have to dress up in nice work clothes and do my hair everyday, and there's no janitor around here to clean up the mess! Plus, it's FULL time, not 8:30 - 4:00. There are no summer holidays around here!

I need to constantly remember that my calling is to be a Mom, and I need to work at that with all my heart. Adam and Noah are so precious, and I have a huge role in seeing that they follow the Lord. When I don't feel like playing with them or reading to them or listening to their whining anymore, I need to get off my rear and be a mom! This is for God's glory. I pray that God will help me fulfill His purpose in my life.

Adam's Song

I have to start journaling what my kids are doing since I'm not very current with my baby books or my scrapbooking. I want to make sure I don't forget, so I think I'll blog them here.

This morning at breakfast, Adam made up a song. Cleverly titled "Where's the Toaster?", its lyrics were as follows:

Where's the toaster?
Where's the toaster?
Where's the toaster?
Oh, where's the toaster?

Now, this in itself was cute, but then Noah started bobbing along in his highchair as Adam sang over and over again. I had to laugh. Noah seemed to think it was the greatest song ever sung, so he kept rocking away! Of course, my laughing only egged Adam on, so we had to listen to several choruses.

Ian thought we were all insane as he ate his bagel while Adam sang, Noah danced and I laughed hysterically. Lots of fun!!

Thursday 2 August 2007

Oops, I Did It Again...

Wow, I don't have much resolve. We're back from our vacation in B.C. and I again haven't been spending much time with God. I had some good prayer times while we were away on holidays. In fact, my prayer life is pretty good right now. I'm praying a lot for my boys. I'm very thankful for God and His blessings.

Where I'm falling short is in spending time in His Word. I need to set aside time each day to spend learning more about God, along with talking to Him. How else will I grow if I don't learn anything?
Once again, I resolve to spend time seeking God in His Word and in prayer.

Saturday 14 July 2007

On Romans 2 - Judging Others

"You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things." (v. 1)

This is so true! I am guilty of judging people. And usually I judge people about the things I am most critical of in myself. It makes me feel better to point out my flaws in other people! (And it shouldn't!) I am totally condemning myself, and I know it.

I know I need to look at the plank in my own eye first and stop judging other people. I pray that God will help me see people as He sees them - through grace and mercy and love. He hurts for their flaws and longs to help them. I need to have the same attitude towards people.

Falling Away

Isn't it funny (maybe not funny ha ha, but funny sad) how when we get busy with life, God seems to fall by the wayside. Or maybe it's just me. Since Ian's been home for summer holidays, I've been busy with him and the kids, and my God time has just about vanished.

I heard something on the radio this morning that really struck a chord with me. It was about how there has been a shift in Christian circles in the past few years from "How can I serve God?" to "How can God serve me?" We focus on how can God bless us, help us, take care of us - all of which are true - but our focus should be on what we can do for God regardless of our comfort or circumstances.

I feel so blessed. I've felt that way for a long time. Things are going well with my family. I have two healthy children, a wonderful, loving husband, a hobby/job that are doing very well, great in-laws, great friends. We are financially stable for now. We have a nice house, two cars, lots of neat stuff. I get to be a stay-at-home mom. What more could I ask for? God has truly blessed us. So I start to wonder when the shoe is going to drop, so to speak. How long can this last before disaster strikes? I know there will be hard times in our life, but I feel like we're tempting fate (?) by having it so good for so long. I know in my head that God doesn't work that way, but I still think that disaster can't be far around the corner.

So then I start to reason that if I spend more time with God, maybe He'll keep blessing us. And if I start to slide, then He's going to punish me by making something bad happen. That's the legalistic side of me. It is so untrue. God wants to bless His children. I need to stay close to God not because of what He'll do to me if I don't, but because I love Him and He deserves my time and devotion, regardless of my circumstances.

Okay, so I now resolve to spend time with God during this busy summer. I will make Him a priority because He is worthy of it. He should be the most important priority in my life. I will honour Him as He deserves.

Friday 6 July 2007

On Romans 1 - "God gave them over..."

I've always been fascinated by the progression of sin as outlined in Romans 1. As I mentioned yesterday, men are without excuse for knowing God. So as they choose to ignore God and continue in sin, there is a progression.

"Therefore God gave them over to the sinful desires of their hearts..." (v. 24) It starts with a desire to do something that we know is wrong. Paul includes in this list sexual impurity, exchanging the truth of God for a lie, worshiping created things rather than the Creator. When we ignore God, we start to give in to the temptations to do things we know are wrong.

"Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts..." (v. 26) After we give in to the temptations, we start to "lust after" the things we have given into. It becomes a passion to do these wrong things. These include unnatural sexual relations (Paul gives a list in verses 26 - 27).

"Furthermore, since they did now think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind..." (v. 28) After awhile, our minds become depraved because we keep giving in to the lusts of our flesh. "They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity" (v. 29). Paul lists among these evil things envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice, gossip, slander, insolence, God-hating, arrogance, boastfulness, disobedience to parents, senselessness, faithlessness, heartlessness and ruthlessness. I always find it interesting the disobeying parents is a sign of a depraved mind!

How many people in our society today have a depraved mind according to this? Quite a few! Paul says in verse 32 that "they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them." Our society frowns on "intolerance" of sin. When we speak out against sinful behaviour, we are called intolerant and hateful. How God must weep for our nation.

The good news is that it is never too late to turn from our wicked ways at any point on this progression, though it is much more difficult to do so once we have a depraved mind. Praise God that He has provided a way for our minds to be cleansed from depravity and renewed in His Son, Jesus Christ.

Tuesday 3 July 2007

On Romans 1 - People are without excuse

God keeps pulling me back into Romans, so here I go!

"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." (v. 20)

This verse always blows me away. MEN ARE WITHOUT EXCUSE. We always say, "Well, a loving God wouldn't let anyone go to hell who hasn't heard of Him." That is not an excuse. God's character is in all His creation. I know that every time we drive through the Rocky Mountains, I am awed by the power that it took to create them. How can anyone but God have made those? The beauty of a sunset, a rainbow arching through the sky, a lightning storm... how beautiful and powerful are those? Have you ever seen the sky after a summer shower at sunset? With silver and red and purple, and the clouds with a halo around them? Wow! If people don't recognize God in these things (and more), they have no excuse. That doesn't mean they will know all their theology and their Bible, but if they acknowledge that there is a God who is in charge of this world, then God will remember them in Heaven. Yes, God is loving, but He is also worthy of our praise and worship. He gives us every chance to get to know Him, but in the end, it is our own choice whether or not we will choose to accept His gift of eternal life through His Son, Jesus.

Monday 18 June 2007

On Colossians 4

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." (v. 2)

I find it interesting that Paul said to be watchful and thankful in our praying. I find it easy to be thankful when I pray, but what does it mean to be watchful in prayer? I gather that it means to be observant in our daily lives and look for things to pray for and opportunities to pray.

Paul goes on in the same section: "Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." (vv. 5 - 6)

We are to be watchful when we are around others - making the most of every opportunity. This is the hard part for me. When I am around people who don't share my faith, I tend to be less careful about what I say. It is easier to gossip or speak rudely when I am around people who speak the same way (that's not to say the non-believers are rude, but that they don't judge that kind of speech the way believers do). I guess that's the root of it. Christians tend to be very judgmental (myself included) about the things people say, especially non-believers. Is that being full of grace? No. Our conversation is to be seasoned with salt. Salt is a preservative and adds flavour and taste to dishes. Our conversation should be wholesome, enjoyable and leaving a pleasant taste in the mouths of the listeners (so to speak!). People will not be drawn to Christ if we speak rudely or act judgmental towards them. We need to pray for opportunities to draw people to Christ and ask God to give us the words to say that will be "salty" for the listener.

Thursday 14 June 2007

Colossians 2 and 3 - Freedom from Regulations

"When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; He took it away, nailing it to the cross." (vv. 13 - 14)

When we receive Christ's salvation, we are no longer under the law. We are completely free in Christ. We do not need to submit to the power and authority of the law, we submit to the power and authority of Christ in God. Does this mean we can do whatever we want? By no means. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:12 "Everything is permissible for me - but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me - but I will not be mastered by anything." So in our freedom, we need to make sure we don't give mastery of ourselves over to any earthly thing. We also need to refrain from things that would lead others into sin or that would not be beneficial to us or to others.

Paul continues in Colossians 3 "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things... Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry... You must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator." (vv. 1-2, 5-6, 8-10)

So we are free from the law, but we still need to rid ourselves of things that belong to the earthly nature and that do not glorify God.

Wednesday 13 June 2007

More On Colossians 2

"See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ." (v. 8)

It is so easy to fall into the world's philosophy. A lot of things sound right, but they're not. Fairness is a big thing that comes to mind, especially as a former teacher and as a parent. The world wants things to be fair. You work, you get paid. If someone has something, then you should have it too. Your brother gets to do this, so you should get to do it too. Sounds reasonable, but is it based on Christ's principles? Jesus promised us we would be persecuted for our faith. Is that fair? No, but it is reality. I have to remind myself and my boys (though they're pretty young to grasp this yet) that life isn't fair. People will do things that are not right, and they will still get rewards. People will take things from you and get away with it. It is so hard to raise children with godly principles when the world's philosophy is so much different. Take what you can get. You have the RIGHT to... Rights and fairness are not part of God's vocabulary. We are to surrender ourselves to God's will and allow Him to take care of the results. I like the wording "see to it that no one takes you CAPTIVE". When we buy into the world's thinking, we are captive prisoners to it. I have to be so careful to spend time in God's Word so I know what is true and right, not what sounds true and right according to the world. I pray that God will reveal that truth to my boys as well, and that they won't be disheartened when the world doesn't follow God's truth as they do. I pray they will choose to follow God and His leading and that they would know the Word and follow it even when no one else it.

Thursday 7 June 2007

On Colossians 2 and the Christian Walk

Wow, it's been way too long since my last post. I have to admit my devotional time has been minimal the past few weeks. It's too easy to find other things to do rather than spend time in God's Word, but I know that it is infinitely more beneficial to me to read the Bible (I just have to sit down and do it!). I have been spending time in prayer each morning before I start the day, and I am finding that amazing! It's been about a month now since I started dong that. Before that, I would just kind of pray whenever I had time (and that was not often). I need to be deliberate about my prayer life, and make sure I give God the first part of my day.

Anyway, here goes with my devotional time...

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." (vv. 6 - 7)

Again, Paul tells us how to live the Christian life. We need to continue on in the Lord - something accomplished through reading God's word and spending time in prayer (I need to remember that!). We need to continue building on the foundation of our salvation, not just remain where we were when we first received Jesus as Savior.

I have become complacent, like the church in Laodicea that Paul refers to in verse 1. In Revelation 3, John writes to the churches. To the church in Laodicea, God says, "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth... I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see." (vv. 15 - 18) This church had become lukewarm. When God talks about buying gold, wearing white clothes and buying salve, He is talking about salvation. I know I am already saved and God will never "spit me out of His mouth", but I also know that He is disappointed when I do not live wholeheartedly for Him.

I am challenged by Colossians to live fully for God. I want my sons to see Christ in me and to see how important my relationship with God is to me. I regret that it probably hasn't seemed all that important from what they have seen of me lately. I do repent of that and trust that God will help me to make time to spend with Him, and that He will cause my boys to see that and be drawn to Him as well.

Friday 25 May 2007

On Colossians 1

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you my have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father..." (vv. 10 - 12).

God has outlined everything we need to do in order to live a life that is pleasing to Him. We need to do good works that bear fruit, grow in our knowledge of God (through His Word), develop endurance and patience and be thankful to God. The good news is that we don't have to do these things in our own strength (indeed, we can't do them in our own strength). Verse 9 says "(We) ask God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding... in order that you may..." All we need to do is spend time with God in prayer and ask Him for wisdom and understanding so we know the good works we need to do, so that He can develop endurance and patience in us through His power, so that we can be strengthened. He will bear the fruit of our works, He will give us power to do what He asks us to do. It sounds easy, but it is difficult to have the discipline to spend the time in prayer diligently seeking God (believe me, I know!). But that is what He asks of us.

Friday 18 May 2007

God's Love

Yesterday morning I was praying, and the most amazing thing happened. I was just overwhelmed by the presence of God. I was sick yesterday, and I started off praying for strength to get through the day - you can't be sick when you're a stay-at-home mom! Suddenly, I just stopped praying, and I was washed in love. It is so hard to describe, but it was just as if God was showing me how much He loved me and that He would take care of everything. I didn't need to finish praying. I just sat there and basked in the love. I have never felt anything like that before. I am so thankful that God gave me that glimpse of Himself. I felt calm and peaceful through the whole day. My kids actually behaved themselves all day, and I was able to rest and sleep a lot. They napped well so I could sleep that afternoon. God is so good. I just want to remember that feeling of love because I know I will face hard times sooner or later, and I need to remember that God loves me and is taking care of me even when it may not feel like He's there. Thank You, Lord.

Wednesday 16 May 2007

Noah's First Words

Okay, so technically, Noah started saying his first words about a month ago. We're going with "Mommy" being his first word and "Daddy" being his second. But now all he says is "Adam, Adam, Adam!" He just loves his big brother. Whenever he sees him, it's, "Adam, Adam, Adam!" He even calls me and Ian that! I wanted to record this here because I know in a few years, he'll be questioning why he even has a brother! For now, he adores him and is so excited to see him and play with him. Adam is quite proud that his brother likes him so much. I just pray that they will grow up being good friends and taking care of each other. I'm not very close with my sister, and we never were that close when we were growing up, so I hope that my boys will be friends and get along. I believe that having a common faith will contribute to a close relationship. I pray that they will both know the Lord and follow Him. Anyway, that's a lot to get from a first word! It's just so thrilling to watch them learn and grow. Soon I'll be wishing that Noah would just be quiet!

Saturday 12 May 2007

On Being a Mom

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I have two boys - Adam is three and Noah just turned one. I love them more than life. I never thought that it would be possible to find joy in wiping snotty noses or having my shirt soaked with tears or, even worse, vomit! Having a tiny head curl into my shoulder with two tiny arms wrapped around my neck - what amazing bliss! I know they have no idea that tomorrow is Mother's Day, but I do. I know the strength of a mother's love. I know the pain when a big boy doesn't want a hug from Mommy. I know that the power of a kiss can heal a hurt. I know the special smile a baby has for his mommy when she walks into the room. I know that when they are older, they will understand how much I love them, but for now, all they know is that Mommy is always here and she takes care of them. And that's all they need to know.