Little Good-Byes

I have read tons of blog posts that talk about motherhood as a series of good-byes.  This one in particular, by my friend, Sarah, speaks to my heart. 

I had my own good-bye moment this morning with my oldest son, who just started grade four.  I am typically a very over-protective mother, and I have to work really hard at allowing my kids to step out on their own. If I had my way, my kids would always be with me and I would do everything for them!  (I don't do this, but I would if I could!)  I know in my head that it is the best thing for them to gain independence and confidence to do their own thing and leave the nest.  This summer, in particular, has been about letting go.  Adam has gotten very good at riding his bike, and he has a friend who lives down the road from us.  All summer, they have been biking around the neighbourhood and going to the park and playing together.  This is relatively safe, in my opinion, because we live in a quiet cul-de-sac with not a lot of traffic.

Well, Adam has been begging to ride his bike to school, which would be all well and good for me except that he has to cross a busy intersection on a main road in town to get there.  We have done practice runs together, allowing him to ride ahead of us and show us what he would do on his own and how he would cross the busy street.  We practiced locking his bike up once he got to school.  He is ready.  Unfortunately, I'm not!

Well, today was the day.  We told him last night that he could ride to school today by himself.  He was so excited!  Then late last night a news report came out about a young child in our town who had been hit by a car crossing the street at his school yesterday.  The crossing lights were flashing, the child had the right-of-way; he did everything the way he was supposed to.  Unfortunately, the woman driving the car did not.  She was going too fast through a school zone, she wasn't paying attention and she hit this small boy, who fortunately is still alive and recovering.

Of course, this drove me into panic mode as a mama.  But I wasn't about to deprive my boy the joy of being independent because of my fears.  We had a good talk this morning about making eye contact with the drivers of cars before he crossed the street and making sure he was paying attention to the vehicles to see what they were doing.

And off he went (with me praying the whole time!).  I walked his little brother to school several blocks behind him, so I could see how he was doing.  And he was a champ.  He walked his bike across all the streets.  He paid attention at the busy intersection.  He arrived to school safely and locked his bike up like a pro.

Still, it's hard to let go and allow my kids to grow up.  I know my job as a parent is to prepare my kids to not need me anymore, and this involves a series of small good-byes and letting go little by little.  How else will we have strong, independent, confident children who grow into strong, independent, confident adults?  These kids are on loan to me for a little while.  God has entrusted them into my care for a brief moment.  It is my job to train them up in the way they should go and leave them in God's hands and trust Him with them.  

Kindergarten So Far

So on his second day of Kindergarten, Adam came home, went up to his room and curled up on the bed very sadly.  I asked him what was wrong and he said he had no one to play with at recess.  There were only two other boys in his class, and they were cousins, so they would just go off by themselves and leave Adam alone.  I spoke to his teacher about it, and she talked to the boys, but they wouldn't wait for Adam or let him play.  After his first day of excitement, he was so sad about being alone at recess, and it broke my heart to think of him standing there looking for someone to play with.  What a horrible first experience with school.

So after much prayer and deliberation, we asked his teacher and the school if he could be switched into the other Kindergarten class, which has five other little boys and Megan (our neighbour, with whom Adam has played a lot over the summer).  This was no problem, so after four days in Kindergarten, he was part of a new class.  We wanted to do it sooner rather than later so that he wouldn't be the "new kid" in the class. It was a difficult decision because on the one hand, we want him to learn to deal with hard social situations, but on the other hand, he really had no other options of friends in the first class.  Normally we would have told him to try to find someone else to play with, but there was no one else!

Anyway, it seems to have been a good decision.  He is really enjoying school now, and in this class, all the kids play together at recess, so he has lots of kids to play with. We're still working with him on learning how to deal with things without bursting into tears, but that's another entry for another day!

Adam's FIrst Day of Kindergarten

Adam was so excited to start school this year! He barely slept the night before!

He loves his uniform (and I love that back-to-school shopping for clothes was so easy!).

I thought I would cry, but it wasn't that bad! He was so happy to be there, he went into the room and started doing puzzles. I don't think he even noticed when I left! This is the opposite of me. I cried and held onto my mom's leg until the teacher forced her to go! I'm so glad Adam likes school so much. He had so much fun on the first day. He really enjoyed playing on the new playground - especially the glider. He has to wait a week before he goes again because they're doing staggered entry, but he's already asking when he gets to go again.