Purpose

This blog is mainly my devotional thoughts and musings about life, parenthood, marriage. I want to leave this as a legacy to my children so they know what their mother believed and thought. My life purpose is to know and love God and to serve Him whole-heartedly. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5, 6

Tuesday 9 April 2019

He's Still the God of Miracles

We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about His power and His mighty wonders. ~ Psalm 78:4

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim His greatness.  Let the whole world know what He has done. ~ Psalm 105:1

I am here to proclaim!

About two-and-a-half years ago, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, which is incurable.  I have metastases in my liver, and now my spine and ribs.  I have gone through several different treatments, all of which stopped working.  Then in January of this year, I began a clinical trial of immunotherapy and a chemo-like drug.  After two months on that treatment, we realized the treatments weren't working.  We saw my oncologist at the beginning of March, and he told us that my liver had doubled in size, was riddled with tumours, and was shutting down.  My spine was covered with lesions.  He basically told us that I didn't have much time left, and to prepare for the worst.

Along with my oncologist, we decided to try a harsh form of chemo in an attempt to slow the growth of the tumours and buy me a little more time.  I had that chemo treatment three days after I stopped taking the clinical trial drugs.  The result was that all the drugs in my system, combined with my failing liver, just about destroyed my body.  When I saw my oncologist the following week, on Friday, March 15, he had me admitted to the hospital at the Cross Cancer Institute immediately.  My liver enzyme levels were at 769 (normal range is under 40).  My white and red blood cell counts had plummeted, and my minerals were all out of whack.  I was severely jaundiced.  I had a sore throat which we thought was strep, but which turned out to be mouth sores, from the chemo, that had gone down my throat.  My liver basically couldn't handle the drugs in my body, and my body was shutting down.

That weekend, I had two blood transfusions and innumerable minerals and antibiotics and other things pumped through my IV.  I was unable to really move very much.  My abdomen and legs were filled with fluid.  Some of you who saw me in the weeks prior to this may have noticed my ballooning stomach - I looked pregnant!  This fluid and my enlarged liver, which were pressing into my stomach, lungs, and intestines, made eating and breathing difficult.  The doctors were talking about do not resuscitate orders and basically preparing us for the worst.  My husband had to tell our sons that I may not have much longer to live.

Then on Monday, March 18, our church held a day of fasting and prayer for those who needed healing, and many people were fasting and praying for me.  Early that evening, my doctor told my husband that I was at a crossroad.  I had to either show evidence of improvement and start getting better or they would begin palliative care, which is preparing for the end of this life.  He didn't tell me about that conversation at the time, but that night at about 7:30, I decided to get out of bed and take a walk around the hospital hallways.  We later learned that that was about the time that the fasting and prayer service at church was just ending.

Over the next few days, things started turning around.  The medical oncologist drained my abdomen twice, taking out almost five litres of fluid.  I started eating a little bit, and I continued taking walks around the hallways.

One thing I have done for years is during my devotional and Bible reading time, if I feel like God is speaking a word to me, I make a note of it either in my Bible or in whatever devotional book I'm reading at the time.  On Wednesday evening, as I was becoming more lucid, I felt God impressing upon me the date March 18, which had been the date of the prayer meeting.  I told my husband to go look in one of my devotional books when he got home and to send me a photo of the March 18 page.  Here's the photo he sent me (notice what I had written at the bottom):

Devotional: Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

Two years ago on March 18, God gave me a word of healing for exactly this time!  It's no coincidence that the prayer meeting was held on that date and that I started recovering right afterward! We don't know if this means God is going to heal me of cancer (which we would love!) or if it was a word of healing for this specific incident.  Either way, He has graciously given us more time together as a family.

By Friday, March 22, my oncologist, who had been away for a week, came to visit me.  He had been checking my progress on Netcare while he was away, and he said he couldn't believe it as he saw my liver enzyme levels dropping every day to where they were back within normal range.  My jaundice cleared up, and I was able to eat and move better.

On Saturday morning, I was given a weekend pass to come home and see how I did there.  I went back to the hospital on Monday, and they discharged me that day, after having been in the hospital for only nine days.  I still had a lot of fluid, and my oncologist suggested putting in an abdominal drain so that they could get rid of the fluid as it built up again.  I didn't feel right about that, so I declined, mostly because I didn't want to be poked with needles anymore!

That was on March 25.  Now there are more amazing things that have happened:
  • Over the past couple of weeks, almost all of the fluid has naturally drained from my body.  I've lost 25 pounds since I got out of the hospital two weeks ago - all fluid.  I am eating normally again, and I can breathe properly.
  • I saw my family doctor on March 29, and she couldn't believe I was out of the hospital.  She said most people who have liver failure are in the ICU for weeks and weeks, if they recover at all.
  • I saw my oncologist on Thursday this past week, and my liver enzymes are back to normal range.  He felt my abdomen, and my liver is back to its normal size!  I had scans done a week-band-a-half ago, and the tumours in my spine are shrinking!  There are still tumours in my liver, but it's functioning well in spite of that.  He even said that I had a "Lazarus moment" - almost literally rising from the dead!
There is no medical explanation for me to be alive today or for me to have recovered so quickly.  We are so thankful for our doctors and nurses and all the care I received.  Absolutely, their intervention helped with my recovery, but it is truly God who brought about this healing.

The God of the Bible is alive and well and working today. The same Jesus who healed the sick in biblical times is still healing today.  "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever" (Hebrews 13:8).  I am so thankful for the love of my Saviour.  It blows my mind that He loves me so much that He cares about my life and would intervene to bring healing to me.

But the greatest miracle of all is His gift of salvation and the promise of eternal life in Heaven that He gives to everyone who chooses to put their trust in Him.  I can honestly say that while I was lying in the hospital bed thinking I was going to die soon, I wasn't afraid.  I felt God's presence and peace.  I know Jesus has prepared a place for me in Heaven and that I'll spend eternity with Him.

In John 14:1-6, Jesus says, "'Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.  There is more than enough room in my Father's home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?  When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.  And you know the way to where I am going...I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me'" (emphasis mine).

The beautiful thing is that this offer is for everyone.  When we acknowledge that we have made mistakes and that God offers forgiveness for these mistakes through the death and resurrection of Jesus, we can receive the free gift of eternal life in Heaven with Jesus.  Romans 3:23 says, "For everyone has sinned (made mistakes); we all fall short of God's glorious standard."  Romans 6:23 says, "For the wages (punishment) of sin is death (separation from God), but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord."

How do we get this free gift?  Romans 10:9-10 says, "If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved." Basically, we just need to believe that Jesus paid the penalty for our mistakes by dying on the cross for our sins.  He then conquered death by rising from the dead, so death has no claim on us.  Then just tell God that you would like to receive His gift of eternal life and thank Him for it.

A dear friend of mine gave me this passage a few days ago, and it sums everything up so well:

"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and He turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and mire.  He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.  He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see what He has done and be amazed.  They will put their trust in the Lord.  Oh the joys of those who trust the Lord, who have no confidence in the proud or in those who worship idols.  O Lord my God, You have performed many wonders for us.  Your plans for us are too numerous to list.  You have no equal.  If I tried to recite all Your wonderful deeds, I would never come to the end of them" (Psalm 40:1-5).

He is still the God of miracles.

image credit: Queen the Prophet