This summer started out fantastic. In July, my boys went on a missions trip to Guatemala with Impact Ministries. They went with a team from our church and our school, so they were there with a lot of people they knew, and they were able to really gel as a team. They served the Guatemalan people, were stretched in their faith, and learned a lot. I am so grateful that they had the opportunity to do this.
While they were gone, I had the opportunity to go out for coffee and lunch with a lot of friends, get the house organized, and enjoy some time to myself. It was really peaceful and enjoyable. I went to see my oncologist while they were away, and I learned that I was responding really well to treatment. My tumours were shrinking, and he suggested I make an appointment with a gynecologist to have my ovaries removed because I was doing so well with hormone therapy.
When the boys returned, we went to B.C. for a week to visit with my mom and step-dad. We had a lovely visit, and Ian and I were even able to get away for a night by ourselves to the Sparkling Hills resort in Vernon.
View from our hotel room at Sparkling Hills
On the way home from B.C., things took a bit of a turn. I started getting some pain in my back. That night after we got home, I was unable to sleep because I was in so much pain. In the morning, I had an appointment for an injection at the Cross Cancer Institute, so I asked the nurse there about it, and she said I should go to the hospital. I happened to have an appointment with my family doctor in the afternoon, so I waited until I saw her, and she also said to go to emergency, so we finally went. (I'm stubborn, and I really didn't want to go to the hospital!)
It turned out that I had pancreatitis from a gallstone getting stuck in my pancreas. I underwent two scope procedures called an ERCP to place a stent in the duct so that the gallstone could pass through. I had to have two procedures because apparently I was too "combative" during the first procedure! I wasn't put under anesthetic the first time, and the nurse said I fought during the procedure and ripped out the scope (I don't remember because they had given me a lot of drugs!). I woke up from the first procedure with a fat lip! They decided to do it with anesthetic the second time, so that one was successful. After I recovered from that, the surgeon decided to remove my gallbladder to prevent further attacks.
I had been off my chemo drugs for a week, so it was a good time to do the surgery. This was done on Monday, August 14 (I had been admitted into the hospital on August 9), and I was discharged the next day after being in the hospital for a week. The surgeon was able to do the cholesystecomy (fancy word for gallbladder removal) laparoscopically, so I only had 4 small incisions to heal from.
Unfortunately, cancer complicates everything, and the following Sunday, I was in excruciating pain all through my back. I couldn't even stand, it hurt so much. I've never felt any pain like that before. Ian called an ambulance because I couldn't even walk to the car for him to drive me back to the hospital. The EMTs couldn't find a good vein in my arms to put an IV in, so I ended up with an IV in my foot - not the most comfortable thing, but they started giving me morphine right away, so I forgave them! It turns out that the combination of cancer treatments and surgery had caused Deep Vein Thrombosis (blood clots in the legs). These clots dislodged and moved into my lungs, causing a Pulmonary Embolism.
It's not so much fun having an IV in your foot, but at least my toenails were pretty!
I spent another week in the hospital in excruciating pain. This time, I felt like I was very close to dying. At one point, I told Ian that if I saw a bright light, I was going into it! I found out afterwards that a nurse told Ian that about 20% of people who have a pulmonary embolism die from it right away, so I was very fortunate that I survived it. My lungs had lots of fluid in them so it was difficult to breathe, even being put on oxygen. I couldn't walk more than a few steps without having to sit and catch my breath. They brought a walker and a wheelchair to my room, along with a chair to "do my business" in because I couldn't walk to the bathroom. I felt like an 80 year old!
Thankful for the oxygen tube so I could breathe. Loving my unwashed hair!
Finally a few days later, after being in the hospital for a week, the doctor told me I could go home as long as I was able to give myself a daily injection of anti-coagulant. A nurse had shown me how to do it, and I had practiced myself for a couple of days, so I was anxious to get home. It is very strange having to give yourself a needle, especially with my aversion to them! I was also given a prescription for painkillers that made me very foggy and uncoordinated! I was nervous about going home just because I would no longer have my oxygen or walker, and I was pretty light-headed, but at the same time, I was very excited to get the IV taken out and to be able to be in my own bed. I went home on August 27. I had spent most of the month of August in and out of the hospital.
This was followed by numerous doctors appointments with different specialists. I saw a thrombosis specialist who prescribed me a different anticoagulant. She explained that cancer treatments and surgery are the leading risk factors for developing blood clots. I was hoping to take an oral anti-coagulant, but with my cancer treatment, the injection is the best one. I will need to be on that for probably as long as I am going through chemo treatments.
I met with the gynecologist who is going to remove my ovaries, and we decided that it is best to hold off on that for awhile until I have completely recovered from all of this other stuff!
I am trying to wean myself off of the painkillers. It turns out that it can take many months for the blood clots in my lungs to dissolve, and they can cause pain the entire time. I'm not able to drive while I'm on this medication, though, and apparently you can't just stop taking the meds cold-turkey, so I'm working my dosage down as much as I can and still handle the pain.
I recently found out that the stent they put in my pancreas when I first went into the hospital has not passed as it was supposed to, so now I have another procedure scheduled where they have to put a tube down my throat and remove the stent (another ERCP). I'm not really looking forward to that, and I'm really hoping that the stent passes on its own while I'm waiting for my appointment! However, I suppose I've been through worse, so I'm thankful that they'll be able to remove it.
While I was in the hospital, I will admit that I wasn't feeling very thankful or joyful. But now, looking back, I can see the many blessings God gave me through the whole thing. There were so many people praying for me and supporting me. Many people came to visit me and make me feel special. Ian was by my side the entire time. I have an amazing husband who loves me so much. My mom came out to help take care of my boys while I was in the hospital. Ian's parents took the boys numerous times as well and made sure they were okay. I don't know how we would have made it without our parents. Some people from my church held a worship/prayer night for me where they sang some of my favourite worship songs and prayed for me and my family. My boys have been helping out around the house, doing chores and picking up the slack that I'm not able to do. Some of my teaching colleagues set up my classroom for me since I couldn't get into school. (I'm still not back at work, but a lovely lady is filling in for me while I recover). My boss has been so understanding, allowing me the time I need to recover. When I got out of the hospital, many people from church provided meals for us. I have many friends and family who drive me to my appointments since I can't drive right now. Numerous people have come to visit me and cheer me up. God has provided everything we needed through all of this. As I'm beginning to feel better, I can see God's hand of mercy and blessing. I am blessed to still be alive through all of this, and I'm feeling stronger every day.
I'm praying that I'll be able to start back on my chemo meds soon as I've had to go off them while I recover. I'm also praying that the cancer hasn't spread and the tumours haven't started to grow again in the meantime. Although I do know that even if the cancer is spreading, God will still be with me through that as well, providing what I need and helping me through it.
If you've managed to read to the end, thank you for bearing with me! I hope you are encouraged that God is faithful and good even in our darkest, hardest circumstances. What an amazing God we serve!
